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This time of the year always catches me by surprise, even though it happens like clockwork. December - the last month, the grand finale of the year, always brings a mixed bag of emotions for me. Seven years ago, my son was born in this month, adding a new layer of meaning to an already reflective period. This time around, instead of making New Year resolutions that just add to my stress and hypertension (been there, done that, bought the T-shirt), I've adopted a progression mindset which involves some intentional audits in a few areas of my life.
Yes, I might just be trying to dodge the bullet of New Year resolutions, which in the past have been both hopeful and exciting. Picture me, joyriding naively into this cultural trend, year after year! Spoiler alert: all my resolutions usually lasted a maximum of three months before being ditched. The rest of the year? Just rolling with whatever life tossed my way, without much intention. Talk about not taking myself seriously!
I soon realized that I had failed to consider my own personality, values, and capacity when trying to "better myself". I can't remember how many gym memberships I've burnt, the amount of diet plans I followed from Paleo to Keto (I can even be your diet advisor!). I'm not saying they aren't good resolutions, they definitely means something to me that I tried over and over again.
I was just another sheep following the New Year's resolution herd. This brought years of hope and disappointment. So, I decided that I couldn’t live my life like a firework - starting with a BANG and ending with a SWOOOSH... and then splat on the ground.
I'm sure many can relate to what December carries - it's like a rollercoaster that can go from 0 to 100 on the scale of goodness. As a mental health practitioner, I always encourage my clients to get in touch with their feelings about where they are now and let them be their lighthouse or compass in their journey. And boy, does this open up some discussions! From insightful revelations to regrets and hopes, we've covered it all.
So, let’s dive into a little self-reflection, shall we?
1. Family System
First, let's look at the values instilled in us by our families. And then, the values we've started to question as we interact with our community. It's like realizing that not all family traditions make sense once you start seeing the world through your own lens.
2. Cultural Learning
Culture here means the ways of life. What culture do you identify with? What does your culture strive for? Answering these questions can lead you to either a sense of belonging or dissatisfaction. It's like
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trying to figure out if you're more of a pancake or a waffle person – both are great, but one might just resonate more with you.
3. Exposure
What are we exposed to? Which social media platforms draw us in? Do they add to our value or make us question ourselves? It's like scrolling through Instagram and wondering why your life isn’t as 'picture perfect' – spoiler: it’s because no one’s life is.
4. Connections
Who do you allow in your life? How have these connections influenced you, from family and friends to acquaintances and new people? It’s like taking inventory of your social circle and figuring out who brings joy and who brings... well, less joy.
In all these four areas, how have they impacted you? Take a step back and imagine you’re in a VR world with them sitting in the middle of the room, soaking up all the energy. Has it been positive or rather heavy? Lean into the sensations they invoke within you, be curious, and expand that curiosity. You might just find some clues into your own reality.
December is the perfect month to ponder these things. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board, ready to jump into the new year. But before you do, take a moment to reflect. And hey, don’t be too hard on yourself. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life doesn't always have to be about
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grand resolutions and drastic changes. Sometimes, it's about the small steps, the little things we learn about ourselves, and the joy we find in everyday moments.
As we say goodbye to this year and hello to the next, let's do it with kindness towards ourselves and a bit of humour. Because, let's face it, if we can't laugh at our own journey through life, then what's the point?
So, here's to December, a month of reflection, understanding, and maybe a bit of well-deserved relaxation. And who knows? Maybe this time next year, we'll look back and say, "Hey, that was the year I really got to know myself." And that, my friends, is worth more than any resolution could ever offer.